Thursday, March 31, 2011

oral surgery 101

I had an emergency root canal today. The doctor was nice and took time to explain everything he would be doing to my tooth- since I had a small anxiety attack in his chair. I had not mentally prepared myself for the root canal which proved to be a big mistake.

Here's what I learned from his lesson:

1. ouch
2. Ouch
3. OUch
4. OUCh

I'm kind of an oral surgery expert now. I have 3 weeks to prep myself for the second phase of the root canal. I bet you didn't know that they do root canals in two phases, did you? Ah ha- you learned something too!

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

The cupcake went splat

This is a crazy busy week and,  when you add my crazy tooth problem, I have not been a pleasant person to live with.

After work today I stopped by the cute cupcake place near our apartment to order a few dozen cupcakes for a wedding shower I'm co-hosting with my mother next weekend. To make sure I wasn't going to poison the guests, I bought myself the most decant looking cupcake to devour when I completed all of my errands {and to try to bribe my sore tooth to shape up}. I drove like a mother taking her baby home from the hospital for the first time- not wanting to bump the cupcake in its little pink box. Just before I turned into our garage husband called so I had to make a decision: take my hand off the cupcake box answer the phone or ignore husband's possibly important call to protect my precious cargo.

I went with option A: answer the call. My cupcake went splat and my husband had to listen to a ridiculously dramatic rant about how my life ended the moment I lost out on the cupcake. Poor husband.

Oh, and, Those of you who plan on reminding me that I gave up sweets for lent are obviously not true friends!

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Remember when fancy barbies cost $30?

The royal wedding is still a few months away, but already you can buy a hand-painted Kate Middleton barbie, dressed in a replica of silk blue dress she wore when her and Prince William announced their engagement. But don’t go strutting off to Toys R Us with your cold hard cash just yet, sit down my friend. You’re gonna have a heart attack when you find out what this barbie will cost you!
You can buy it from the Franklin Mint for $490!  Nope, it doesn’t include her diamond ring. There’s actually a whole set of Royal Family Dolls. This is only the engagement doll, I can’t imagine what the wedding version will cost! Remember when expensive barbies were $30? Ahh, the good old days!

Friday, March 25, 2011

Crocodile Dentist

I'm having some issues with my choppers {as in my teeth}. I've never had a cavity in my life but I had to have a filling last weekend because I apparently brush my teeth with too much passion. I have been in intense pain all week so my dentist fit me in for an emergency visit this morning before work. He injected some numbing medicine into my gums and sent me merrily on my way.

Except I wasn't merry. I was on the verge of ripping all of my teeth from my mouth in an effort to make the pain stop. Thankfully, he called in some pain killers before I had time to figure out how to do carry out this mission. I'm pretty sure my husband would be embarrassed of me if I didn't have any teeth. I also feel like I wouldn't  be a very effective youth drug counselor.

Now, laying in bed in a vicodin haze, I keep thinking back to a game my sister and I used to play when we were little called "crocodile dentist." You had to push all of the crocodile's teeth down before he took a bite out of your finger. My dentist better fix my tooth ASAP or I'll show him my mad crocodile dentist skills.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

How many times must I say this until I remember it?

It's not always about me. It's not always about me. It's not always about me. Rinse and repeat. 

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

I wouldn't tell just anyone about my problem

I have a problem saying no to a little thing called CHIPS and SALSA. It's a slippery slope into salty over-eating once I've started. If salsa were illegal or dangerous to my health in any way I would need an intervention before the sun comes up. My favorite is to use Tostitos Scoops because its as close as I can come to a socially acceptable way to shovel salsa into my mouth. Just wait until shovel chips are invented...

I've always said that tacos are one of my favorite foods but when I made one for dinner last night {and noticed that it was 3/4 made of salsa} I'm now wondering if maybe its only an excuse to incorporate salsa into the meal.

Are you aware that there are entire facebook groups dedicated to addicts of chips and salsa? Yes, there are more like out there like me. My homies, if you will. Ugh, I have issues.

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Prozac Park

We had house guests all weekend- one of which was my dear friend and former roommate who has been living in India for the better part of this past year. It was fun to try to play hostess in a city that I am still just learning.
The weather was so beautiful today that husband and I spent most of the afternoon at Loose Park near Kansas City's plaza area. The park was huge and there were tons of people there walking their dogs, playing frisbee, reading books and working out. I walked around the trails while JJ did stuff that accountants do {read some sort of book with numbers instead of words on the pages}. I felt completely restored afterwards. The combination of sunshine {after a nasty winter} and seeing so many happy people and having some time to spend with husband was just like medicine for the rut I've been in. I've decided to change its name to Prozac Park- for its mood enhancing powers.

I think I might go back to the park again tomorrow to try to soak up some more of its magical powers!

Saturday, March 19, 2011

The most perfect "something blue"

WeddingWire featured this new Dior dress that has the most perfect "something blue." It looks just like a China pattern!

Would you wear this?

I just stopped breathing

Want to know what stopped me dead in my tracks and reduced my breathing to quick gasps for air?

I missed her last time she was in Kansas City but nothing will stop me from seeing my idol one true love this time. Who wants to come with me?

Friday, March 18, 2011

Punching Sasha

I woke up in the middle of the night last night to husband punching me {with all of the force that comes with a 6'6'' man!} in the shoulder. I swatted his hand away and started yelling, and blah blah blah. He was dreaming that I was cheating on him so he was punching "Sasha" in the face. What kind of a sexy man's name is "Sasha"?

Anyway, now I can totally see how crazy Michelle from the Bachelor got her black eye!

My shoulder is fine but I have to wonder whether this occurrence is related to THIS?


I've been reading through the guide to London I made after my summer abroad during college. I emailed it to a friend for a trip she's taking and then became overcome with envy. London is without a doubt my favorite city.

This last picture is my favorite picture of all time. This is my friend and I at Wimbledon watching Venus and Serena Williams play each other. My dress flew up at the exact moment a stranger was taking our picture. I am mortified that I was wearing beige underwear. How boring! I want to do a re-do just so I can prove I have more exciting underwear than this!

I would give my third born to get to move back there right now!

Thursday, March 17, 2011

they'd WANT to pinch me in this dress

This is what I wish I had to wear today:
Too bad it costs more than my new monthly car payment. 

I'm going to pinch you like white on rice

Today is St. Patrick's Day and, although I know absolutely nothing about Mr. Patrick, I do know that if I come across someone not wearing green today I will pinch them. Not like a grandma pinching the cheeks of a chubby baby. I'm going to pinch them like white on rice.

Neither of us own anything green so I'll have to come up with an alternate solution. JJ had a green polo but he lost it so I am going to find all kinds of satisfaction in pinching him 98743543 times today.

Monday, March 14, 2011

If you love the rainbow...

How do things get so messy when I don't have any children and I live in 1000 square feet? There are socks in every room of the house. There are sweaters under the couch cushions. There are empty diet coke cans on every flat surface. There is even a street sign that says "Corona Avenue" laying on my bedroom floor.

Being a type "A" person, I have to wonder-- where does this mess come from?

Oh yeah, I got married. I found this nice little quote to sum up how I feel about this mess:

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Duh, Winning!

It was a whirlwind of a week and at the end of it we got the prize behind door number three. We got a new car! Forgive me for being so corny. I blame it on spending so much time with high schoolers- or JJ.

My dad unfortunately totaled his car last week and called me afterwards with a proposition. He has always really liked my car and I had been itching for something new so he bought my car from me. This was, as Charlie Sheen would say, "duh, winning!"

I took a few hours here and there last week to test drive a bunch of different cars. JJ and I spent what felt like a billion hours every night scowering the internet for safety ratings and price comparisons. Then yesterday we signed away our paychecks for the rest of our lives plus naming rights to our first born child and drove away with our new car.

Obviously we played around with all of the cars in the showroom because we have a hard time taking anything seriously. What we are taking seriously is our new car. Hello, beautiful. 

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

I'm not a terrorist threat

JJ sent this to me today. I'm interpreting it as a threat. I'm going to be sleeping with one eye open.
(click on the story to make it bigger- unless you have superhuman 
eyes and you can read it this small)

Fat Wednesday

I totally forgot that yesterday was Fat Tuesday and since I sweated out any and all fun in my stupid hot yoga class, I'm going to celebrate today. This fits better into my schedule anyway because I have today off from work so I can truly be a glutenous bum. This is what I try to do with most holidays- rework them into my schedule so they fit better for ME. Because, it is all about me, after all!

I've decided to give up sweets for lent. This is because of two reasons:
1. I've secretly been hiding Hershey's hugs in my drawer at work and eating them all day every day and I'm concerned that I'm rotting my teeth
2. Today I ran out of Hershey's hugs so this seems like the logical thing to give up for lent

I'm pretty sure I will be able to make it until Easter without any sweets if I stay away from the grocery store, my freezer, my office, my car and any restaurant.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

National Geographic's Floating House

Last week National Geographic experimented creating a floating house just like the movie UP with colorful weather balloons- 300 in fact. Amazing, right? It flew 10,000 feet high for about an hour. These images look like they couldn't be real--but they are!

The footage will be part of a new National Geographic Channel series called How Hard Can it Be? What would you give to be that guy in the house? I think I'd give up my annoying boyfriend to take a ride in a floating house.

Easter Nut House

It's official. I'm crazy. I'm hosting all of my immediate family and all of JJ's immediate family in our little apartment for Easter. Each of us can have approximately 110 square feet of space.

Since I'm consumed by impressing everyone with my uncanny resemblance to Martha Stewart (er, I mean I need everyone's approval that I am not the worst wife in America) I am trying to come up with an Easter menu. Typically my Mom makes her bunny cake but since I'm hosting, I need to come up with my own token easter baked good. Since I am the reigning Jell-O Champion Extraordinaire, I'm obviously going to have to incorporate some jello. Ideas?

While I love parties, something tells me that is not really what our families have in mind for the holiday. I'm thinking Wii Just Dance followed by lots of chocolate eggs is just not going to do the trick.

I've been gathering some inspiration photos for decorations....

Pretty, aren't they?!

Monday, March 7, 2011

I'll have to find a new pink hat to swoon over

I might be the only one, but I am disappointed that I won't be seeing Katie Holmes playing Jackie Kennedy. I had seen these pictures of Mrs. Cruise next to Jackie-O in her iconic pink suit and swooned.

"The Kennedys" eight part series was supposed to air on the History channel but has been pulled due to inaccurate portrayal. It will still be shown in Canada. I'm hoping Hulu will pick it up!

Saturday, March 5, 2011

Weekend paperdolls

Is it really the weekend already? Where did this week go? 

I'm out and about filming a PSA on marijuana with a bunch of high schoolers today. Well, first I have a meeting, then a focus group, then helping some kiddos film a PSA. Did I mention that it's Saturday? 

I stumbled across these fun postcards in the latest Matchbook magazine and want to mail them to everyone I know. Who wouldn't smile if they opened their mailbox and found this fashionista paper doll? Too bad I'm broke or I would have just placed an order for 40 paper doll postcards!

Friday, March 4, 2011

Welcome to our home, modern flair

These bad boys are in route to our apartment. I'm so excited to finally have some additional seating and to add some modern flair to our otherwise very traditional apartment.

See ya' hot yoga- you're cramping my style

Sorry I've been so absent all week. I've been feeling sort of unbalanced. And by unbalanced, I mean tired and super unmotivated to do anything.

I thought the hot yoga would help but I'm finding that I typically leave there angry because:
1. I am so unbelievably sweaty
2. The class is supposed to be for all levels (beginner to yogi) but I'm the only one who can't stand on my toes while contorted in a ball
3. There are mirrors all over the room so I have to stare at my unbelievable sweaty self and watch as everyone else seems to be in a relaxed/meditative state while I'm just annoyed
4. I've gained 2 pounds
5. It's dangerously "close to home" for the days when I dated someone with dreadlocks (I feel like that is a part of my life I've been neglecting to share with you readers....)

I am going to have to try something else to try to balance out the stresses in my life. I wish that I could move all of the people I love to Kansas City. I think that's the root- I'm missing everyone.  What I do know is that hot yoga is cramping my style.