Hoarder Wannabe

Last night the stars aligned and there was a marathon of "Hoarders" on TLC. I sat down with my glass of wine intending to feel much better about myself and my cleaning habits after a few episodes of people literally buried under their own trash. What I realized was quite different. I am an even more disturbing kind of hoarder-- the wannabe.

I get an absurd number of magazines each month because I compulsively click the boxes on my internet's sidebar prompting me to give my address for a "free trial issue." This undoubtedly turns into them sending me red angry envelopes wanting to know why I haven't paid for any issue after the first one they sent me. I am much too tempted by titles like Cooking Light.

Since I work for a non-profit and am trying to pay back college student loans I have begun ripping out pages of anything I would like to have. I now have piles and piles of tattered magazine pages laying all over the apartment of things that I would hoard if given the opportunity to actually purchase them.

So, I would like request that Dr. Drew comes over to my apartment and helps me sort out my underlying issues. These days being a hoarder is kind of trendy- afterall, Lindsey Lohan is one.